Motivation and Self Help

Understanding Sleep Paralysis: Can’t Move While Sleeping or Dreaming

July 19, 2017 By LovingOurHome.com Leave a Comment

Have you had an episode of sleep paralysis, where you can’t move while sleeping but are aware of your surroundings?

In a sleep paralysis dream, you see and feel yourself in your bed and the room around you looks normal, but you cannot move your body. In short, it feels like your mind wakes up before your body does.

I personally agree with the theory that this is a situation where your brain is protecting you from sleep walking. The National Sleep Foundation classifies sleep paralysis as parasomnia. WebMD provides a list of factors that may contribute to this issue.

But there still isn’t that much scientific research on what actually causes or can prevent these sleep paralysis dreams. I’ve come up with a few questions, based on my own experiences, that may help explain why sleep paralysis episodes happen:

1. Are you sleep deprived? Is your sleep schedule off? Have you missed a night of sleep recently or do you sleep less than 6 hours a night regularly?

2. Do you feel a pain in the back of your neck before you go to sleep or when you wake up? Or both? Does it feel like you need a massage?

3. How often do you experience these dreams? Do you get them regularly, or do they just start up out of nowhere after months or years?

4. Have you had any health issues directly preceding these dreams, such as the flu or a migraine? What was the issue? Are you on any medication?

5. Are you anxious or scared before going to sleep? Do you generally struggle with anxiety? Was something particularly stressful happening in your life at the time you experienced sleep paralysis ?

6. Have you experienced any significant life change in the weeks or months preceding the occurrence of these sleep paralysis dreams?

7. Do you feel as if something is watching you or holding you down in your sleep paralysis dream?

8. What position are you sleeping in when you have this type of dream? On your stomach, on your back, or on your side?

9. If you sleep on your side, which way are you facing when this happens?

10. Have you figured out a way to break out of the sleep paralysis? Such as blinking, relaxing, or praying? If so please explain what works for you.

11. Have you had these episodes since childhood or did it only begin in adulthood? At what age? How many times in total?

Post any helpful thoughts you have regarding sleep paralysis and what may be the cause of it in the comments area.

Posted by Jade

Image courtesy Pixabay

Parenting Advice: Encouraging Your Kids to Be Productive Citizens

July 29, 2016 By LovingOurHome.com Leave a Comment

Children need a strong positive influence and guidance from their parents in order to become productive members of society. Parents must teach their children right from wrong, monitor the media influence that they consume, understand the importance of keeping your word and demonstrate to their children that there are consequences to your actions.

Right vs. Wrong

Teaching kids right from wrong starts at a young age — for example, if a child takes a candy bar out of the grocery store without paying for it, the parent’s response shouldn’t be laughter or telling the child that it’s okay if you didn’t get caught. That sends the wrong message to a maturing brain. As the child gets older, bad behavior becomes the norm (as long as he doesn’t get caught) until one day he’s a major burden on his parents. Immediately voice your disappointment in negative behavior and make your child make things right. Holding a child responsible for his or her actions at a young age will have a significant effect on his or her choices in the future.

Social Media

Parents have to be more active in their child’s life more than ever before thanks to social media and the Internet. In today’s society, children are being negatively and heavily influenced by the music that they listen to, the movies that they watch and the video games that they play. Despite that reality, the parent is still the first and strongest influence in a child’s life from birth. From a very young age a parent will say the word “no” thousands of times because she cares for her child’s safety. Why should that concern for their safety end when they start listening to music, watching movies, using social media and playing mature video games as teens? Older kids also need to be taught right from wrong. Have meaningful conversations with them about the media that they consume on a daily basis so that they can put it in the proper perspective.

Learn To Keep Your Word

Children of today should learn that the words they say, even when first learning how to communicate, are vital to becoming a productive member in society. There’s an old adage that will forever ring true: “Your word is your bond.” This simply means that your word is everything. Parents teach their children this lesson by example — if you make a promise to your child, keep it.

The importance of keeping your word can also be taught in many common scenarios. For instance, say a child joins the soccer team one day and then quits the next day. If the child is permitted to start and stop every activity on a whim, he will come to show the world that he can’t be counted on. He also won’t experience the satisfaction of following through on his word. Use these small instances as teaching moments to show the child the importance of keeping your commitments.

Teach Them That There Are Consequences to Your Actions

One of the most important lessons a parent can teach a child is that for every action there is a reaction. Every person in the world faces consequences for their actions whether big or small, good or bad. Sometimes those consequences come quickly, and other times they take longer to manifest.

As an example, if a child is caught fighting in school, they have to know that there are consequences for their actions that are largely out of your control as a parent. The principal will suspend the child, the police may be summoned to the school and charges could be pursued in juvenile court. Your child will expect you to save him from this situation, but a parent’s response should not be to fix, coddle or lie for a child. The child must learn from this experience because if he doesn’t, it will reoccur time and time again. The child should learn how society works as early as possible so that he’ll have time to correct his mentality and behavior.

All children need guidance from their parents or guardians on how to be a productive citizen from the beginning of their lives right up until they become self-sufficient adults. As the parent you are the first role model — you show children with your actions and words what’s acceptable. Lead boldly and admirably by example.

Posted by Louise

Photo Credits: Flickr/Torrey Wiley, Flickr/Stuart Richards

Audiobook Review: Money Master the Game by Tony Robbins

July 2, 2016 By LovingOurHome.com Leave a Comment

A review of MONEY Master the Game: 7 Simple Steps to Financial Freedom by Tony Robbins, an audiobook that’s now available at AUDIBLE.COM (free for first time listeners).

I have been seeking financial guidance for years, but never had the discipline to sit down and really read a complete money guide. While browsing Audible recently, I finally found just what I needed — an audiobook about pursuing financial freedom, investing and all of the important topics that have eluded me in the past. It’s called MONEY Master the Game: 7 Simple Steps to Financial Freedom by Tony Robbins.

I trust Tony’s advice when it comes to motivation and having a positive self-image — the guy has gotten results on so many fronts — so naturally I was interested in his money advice book. His steps are very clear and concise, but you have to listen when you can give your full concentration and attention. This is an audiobook that you listen to in nuggets over an extended period of time and add plenty of bookmarks.

One of his suggestions was to invest in an index fund (a mutual fund tied to a stock index like the S&P 500) instead of going with a fund that hand picks varied stocks, or worse, picking individual stocks on your own which almost always goes sour for regular people who know little to nothing about companies and the stock market. I have lost money on several occasions trying to buy individual stocks.

I also learned about long-term fixed rate annuities and an “all seasons portfolio” that maximizes return while minimizing risk. He talked about making some of these financial vehicles more accessible to younger people like myself, as many of them require that you be a minimum age.

There are still some concepts I’m trying to grasp as a beginner, but this Money Master the Game audiobook helped make things easier to understand. I imagine that certain people in the financial industry really won’t like this book because it encourages education in the common consumer and reveals the truth about the unnecessary fees charged by brokerages. So don’t trust the very negative reviews — you have to read and research these concepts for yourself.

Toward the end of the book, Tony gives a few stories about how he was finally able to conquer his financial struggles. He suggests giving more to other people if you want more blessings in your own life. And not just giving in order to receive, but because you really want to in your heart.

While I haven’t yet been able to start an index fund as of this publishing, I have taken the first steps toward doing so. I’ve significantly reduced my spending money on unnecessary items so that I can start saving toward financial freedom. One of my problems was deciding between a “want” and a “need”. For example, I use to spend almost $5 a day, 3 days a week at a coffee house. That meant that I was spending $15 a week or $60 a month JUST on coffee. Nowadays I don’t really drink coffee as much, but when I do it’s at home using an affordable brew. Another weakness is the grocery store, where I stock up on food even when I already have plenty at home. Now I make every effort to stay home instead of wandering past a supermarket.

Tony Robbins’ audiobook was the perfect start in assisting me towards gaining financial independence, and eventually freedom. I feel that my financial future is looking brighter and I’m motivated. At one point in the book, the narrator’s voice switched back over to Tony’s booming voice and I jumped to attention. He has a strong voice with an even stronger message.

I think that I’m now “at attention” in more ways than one when it comes to my finances and money matters. So I totally recommend this book to anyone who is a novice when it comes to financial matters, and those who are searching for financial freedom and independence.

I would give MONEY Master the Game: 7 Simple Steps to Financial Freedom by Tony Robbins 4.5 stars.

Review by Jade B.

Teaching Kids to Love Themselves

November 21, 2015 By LovingOurHome.com Leave a Comment

In today’s age of new technology, sadly kids are much more prone to be negatively influenced by what their family members, friends and even strangers have to say about them. Bullying has evolved due to social media.

Unfortunately, many children are not given the proper tools to deal with and cope with the negative influences that invade their daily lives.

Another sad fact is that most American youth now transform their personalities to emulate who they idolize. That may be a professional athlete, pop star or rapper with a questionable message.

Parents have to “STOP THE MADNESS” and instill a sense of self-esteem in their children. Here are some helpful tips for how to teach your kids to love themselves that will be useful to all parents; no matter their socioeconomic status.

Start As Early As Possible

The process of instilling self-love should begin when the child is an infant — babies are born with blank slates. Every bit of outside stimuli can affect their development.

Installing confidence within your child begins at an early age as well. For example, when they have accomplished a task and you feel that they have done their best, give them praise. Money and material things are not as valuable as your words of encouragement.

Be the Person You Want Your Children to Be

The saying “do as I say, not as I do” just doesn’t register with children. You are their first role model, so they are going to mimic what you do. Your child sees what you do and who you are every day you are together, so everything from how you cope with stress to how you let others speak to you means a lot. So if you want your child to love him or herself, you have to show love to yourself first and foremost.

Put Pop Stars In Their Place

Let your children have their favorite pop group, actors or rappers etc. But make them aware that these are privileged people — when they do certain things it may be accepted by society and thought of as “cool,” but if your child does it probably will not be. For instance, the famous women who choose to show their bodies to the world have highly paid security guards to protect their bodies — the average young woman does not have that level of protection and freedom. The famous rapper who posts images of himself using drugs has the money to hire a great lawyer if he gets into trouble — the average young man will have to rely on a poorly paid public defender.

Teach your child that those people are paid to act a certain way while on a stage performing, but it’s all for show.

Explain to them that idolizing others will only make them less like themselves and more like something or someone they are not. Tell them to be proud of who they are — teach them not to live vicariously through others by helping them bring out their own individuality.

Show Them Love

Your child’s sense of self-love really does begin at home. Show and tell your children that you love them everyday, and add an occasional hug to the mix. Children learn to express themselves with their parents first, and that is how they learn to love themselves. You have to demonstrate this to them in the most meaningful ways possible.

When they are little kids love to hug and express their love to you — encourage that throughout their lives.

Remember that the children of today are living in a different world from when you were young. Yet at the same time, certain facts of life are still the same. Show genuine love to your children and they will love you — most importantly they will learn to love themselves.

Posted by Eve

4 Ways to Better Manage Your Depression

July 2, 2015 By LovingOurHome.com Leave a Comment

Depression is a very serious issue that can negatively affect a person’s life in a number of ways. It can have negative effects on both the mind and body. You may feel tired, sad, lacking energy and sometimes like life doesn’t have much meaning. If you’re having a chronic problem with how to manage your depression, of course the first course of action is to seek the help of a professional because in some cases it can be the result of a chemical imbalance, hormonal issues or even heredity.

However, depressive disorder is also often caused by outside forces, like stressful life events and eating bad foods, so a holistic and natural approach to managing this condition may help as well. You can also try implementing a few new stimulating activities into your daily routine to better manage your depression.

Change Your Diet

Did you know that some foods can actually exasperate your feelings of depression? Researchers from the University of Navarra and the University of Las Palmas de Gran Canariain in Spain found that eating foods high in trans fats and saturated fats can actually make depression worse.

You may also be missing necessary vitamins and minerals from your diet. Buy a daily pill container and fill it with vitamins, including a multi-vitamin, vitamin C-ester, vitamin D, vitamin B and any others that your doctor says you need for proper nutrition.

Read

When you’re depressed, your mind is unhappy with your current surroundings and situation. So if you’re feeling down, try sending your mind elsewhere for a while by picking up a good book or other type of reading material. Be careful not to read negative things, such as sad news stories, depressing articles and magazines that advertise things you can’t have at the moment; that could depress you even further. Read positive stories of triumph, feel good news and if possible, stories about other people who have overcome depression.

Do Just 5 Minutes of Yoga

The mind-body connection is a very real thing. Sometimes exercising or simply stretching the muscles in your body can help you manage depression. If you aren’t motivated enough to do a full workout, just pause and do about 5-10 minutes of yoga stretches. Here’s a quick beginner’s yoga video you can follow. This one helps energize you. You may be pleasantly surprised by how much better you feel after doing just a bit of yoga. The more you do it, the longer you’ll probably want to do it, but don’t feel pressured. Just take it one day at a time.

Talk to Someone (Or Even to Yourself)

If you have someone in your life that you can confide in, it helps to tell them what you’re going through. Sometimes just getting your feelings out can help relieve negative tension. It’s not wise to keep all of those depressed and repressed feelings bottled up for long stretches of time. If you don’t have someone else to talk to, sometimes talking through it with yourself (or a Higher Power that you believe in) each day is just as effective. And of course, talking to a qualified therapist who understands depressive disorders is also a good idea.

If you’re suffering from depression, you certainly aren’t alone. Even high profile celebrities with lots of money and fame, who seem to have great lives, report that they have experienced bouts of depression. Try changing up your routine, lifestyle and diet to manage your depression and overcome those negative feelings. It’s also important to seek the counsel of a trusted professional if it gets worse — talking to someone who understands what you’re going through can really help you get some relief and see things in a more positive light.

Posted by Jade

5 Ways Audiobooks Can Improve Your Life (and the World)

March 21, 2015 By LovingOurHome.com Leave a Comment

As early as the 1920s, people were using seminars and books on tape to learn more and better themselves. Great minds of the 20th century like Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie and Earl Nightingale recorded their speeches and talks — they’ve been heard by millions of people since then. Millions of people have been helped by their timeless words.

Today books on tape have largely been replaced with audiobooks, like the ones offered at Audible. You can now play your book of choice on your cellphone, iPad, tablet or laptop. Audible also offers audiobooks for free to new users who have an Amazon account. Here are five reasons why I think this new technology is such a great tool for the 21st century. I believe modern audiobooks will help millions more people succeed and have better lives in this and future generations.

Audiobooks help people who aren’t the best readers.

It’s estimated that approximately 32 million adults in the United States have trouble reading or never learned how. Audiobooks allow this group of people to absorb information and get motivation by simply listening to a speaking voice. It’s almost like sitting in a lecture hall listening to a professor teach (but at a very tiny fraction of the tuition cost of course).

Audiobooks give your eyes a much-needed rest.

In the course of an average day, how often are your eyes looking at a computer screen or straining to read small printed words? eBooks can be the most tiring on the eyes because of the bright light from your e-reader’s screen. Audiobooks give your eyes a break — instead of scanning a page, you can close your eyes and allow the message or story to enter your mind.

Listening to an audiobook allows you to multitask.

One of my favorite things about audiobooks is that I can multitask while “reading.” Whenever it’s time to vacuum my home or go on a long drive, I have my Audible audiobook queued up and ready to go. Since it’s on my cellphone, I can just plug it into my car with an auxiliary cord and press play.

Audiobooks are good for the environment.

As much as I love the feeling of having a physical book in my hand at times and turning the pages, I can’t deny how much printed books use up paper and ink resources. My office is full of books that I’ve read and probably will never read again. With an audiobook you can consume a book once if you want, then close it and it’s stored in digital memory. If you ever want to tidy up your “library” you can just delete old books from your accounts digital storage when you want. The more people who opt for online audiobooks, the less demand for paper, which will eventually lead to more trees saved each year. If you are passionate about the Green movement or need a new initiative for your group, encourage audiobooks as an alternative way to read.

Audiobooks are a source of relaxation and inspiration.

There are some audiobooks that I love to play over and over again simply because of the narrator’s voice. The voice of an audiobook narrator can soothe you to sleep (for me, that’s Louise Hay and Rhonda Byrne) or inspire you to action (Les Brown and Earl Nightingale). You just sit or lay back, put your headphones on and enjoy. I like to listen to a good audiobook first thing when I get up in the morning — that way I start off the day with a positive or relaxed mindset.

These reasons and more are why I’m passionate about spreading the word about the benefits of reading audio books. I use Audible because they’re an Amazon company and I can login using my Amazon account. They also have a convenient app for my Android phone and gave me a free audiobook when I first signed up for the service.

If you have trouble reading books or finding the time and motivation to read, try an audiobook today. Reading a new online audio book each month can educate, entertain, motivate and inspire you to get to a better place in your life, as it has done for me.

Posted by Lynn

Lynn is a guest blogger on LOH and the author of a popular motivational audiobook for women entitled Why Doesn’t He Love Me?

Motivation and Self Help

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A review of MONEY Master the Game: 7 Simple Steps to Financial Freedom by Tony Robbins, an audiobook that’s now available at AUDIBLE.COM (free for first time listeners).

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