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Returning to Your Childhood Home As An Adult

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I sincerely enjoy returning to the childhood home where I was raised to visit my parents. There are so many memories packed into every inch of that house. For example, when I look at the stair case, I can vividly remember sliding down those same stairs on a cardboard box, having fun for hours.

However, there are certain realizations, as adults, that we need to keep in mind when returning to our parents home. In this economic climate some of us need to return to our parents home due loss of employment, home or spouse. First of all, I feel so fortunate to have the opportunity to visit the home where I had so many minor and major life experiences. Yet, on my previous visit to my parents, I realized that I needed to change my mind set when visiting my parents. I noticed that although their energy and thrust for life was still present, there was something different about them. My mom, for instance, did not cook the same and my dad no longer enjoyed his outside chores. My mom instead, chose to either order out or cook a meal in the microwave. While my dad had hired landscapers to do all of the outside chores. Seeing that took me for a loop. Growing up my mom cooked three homemade meals a day including desserts and my dad lavished on his lawn, garden and flowers. I then opened my eyes a little wider and realized that after all of the years that they both had taken care of their children and instilled in all of us a sense of duty and pride in our accomplishments, they were tired. Tired of having to teach, listen, cook, work hard to show us how to properly run a happy and prideful family.

Now, when I visit my parents with my mate and children, I make sure that everyone is actively involved with the daily chores. Such as, cooking, cleaning and removal of garbage. I basically attempt to give them a break from doing these chores while my family visits. After all, we are the ones adding to the untidiness to the house. It pains me now to think of how many meals were cooked for me, as an adult, while I sat down in the living room waiting to be told, by mom, that dinner was ready. Me and my family now instruct her to sit and wait to be called for dinner. Of course, she is never to far from the kitchen to ensure that I am precisely following her recipes!! As for dad, if there were any chores he wanted done outside on the property, we all pitched in, while again he sat and watched making sure it was done the way he wanted.

I guess my best advice, is to make yourself a commodity. In other words, PITCH in! No adult lives for free, so if you are moving back home, any income you bring into the home, your parents should most definitely receive a percentage. If you are visiting, make a trip to the grocers to buy all of the necessary foods that you or your family enjoy. Don’t just sit on the couch, ask your parents if they need anything done in or outside of the home. I can say that my parents enjoyed my family more because we truly acted like a family. We also bonded in more ways because we were all actively enjoying one another’s company. As our parents age, they appreciate any and all help given.

I hope that this advice about returning to your childhood home has made someone re-evaluate their parents and show more appreciation to them.

 

Posted by Lorraine

Ideas for Huddles and Team Motivation

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If you’re the coach of your child’s sports team or you’re the captain of a team at work or for intramural fun, here are a few ideas for huddles that your team can implement as motivation at practice and games.

A group huddle is a time for a team to gather close together in a circle to discuss and upcoming play or move in a competition. It is most common in sports events. A football coach named Amos Alonzo Stagg created the huddle in 1896 as a way of blocking out the racket from the crowd right before a play. The huddle is also a way to assure that all team members are on the same page and to get everyone motivated to do a good job.

Tell a Motivational Story

sports pic
© Cristina | Dreamstime Stock Photos

If you have ample time, tell a short story that will help to motivate the team during the huddle. The story can be funny or serious, but it should definitely have an educational or motivational value. You can even leave the story open-ended or rhetorical so that the members will think about the answer before going out on the playing field. If you are the coach, keep a repertoire of reflective, inspiring stories for your team on hand.

Change Up the Huddle Leader

Don’t always just let the coach or team captain say something in a huddle. Switch it up from time to time. Allow individual team members to give the short motivational speech or start a “call and response.” This will help to get everyone involved and make each team member feel equally important to the team’s purpose. Encourage each member to be creative and think of catchy phrases and chants to use in the huddle.

Also, decide on what you will all say at the end of the huddle to signify that you are ready to go play. For instance, “Go team” is a popular saying, but you can also yell out the team motto or mascot (“Wolves!”).

Handshake

Have a team meeting to decide on a secret handshake that you all will use during games. This might seem like a minor detail, but something as small as a handshake could help to unify a team. Make sure every team member is “in the know” on the handshake or else you will look disorganized. Brainstorm some fun hand signals, slaps, and claps that you can integrate into a custom handshake for team members to use during games. Rehearse it in practice, just as you would a play.

Get Nice Team Shirts to Boost Morale

Have custom team shirts made for your members to wear outside of games and practice. These should be good looking shirts that each member is proud to wear. Have each member wear his shirt on game day to show your team unity.

Use these ideas for huddles and team motivation to help take your squad to the top!

Posted by Jade

 

 

Teaching An Aging Parent to Use & Understand The Internet

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Teaching an aging parent to use the internet can be a challenge — it requires great patience and consistency.

My mom is a vibrant, healthy outgoing older woman. Yet, convincing her to use the internet was challenging at first.

I Love You
© Pixeljuice | Dreamstime Stock Photos

Recently, she finally gave in and agreed to learn. So we began early one morning. I called her on the telephone and told her to put the phone on speaker and place it next to the keyboard, so that she could use both hands. I then explained what the internet is and how people use it in their everyday life. I made sure to tell her to ask me any and all questions, that she may have had.

I told her of the many uses of the internet, from work to play. I described how she can send and receive emails to/from her grandchildren, look up recipes, watch instructional videos or just visit different parts of the world. I had her first turn on her monitor and computer tower. Once the screen appeared with the icons, I instructed her to locate the icon that connects her to her internet provider. It took a while, but she soon located the proper icon. Then I started to explain how I was shadowing her on my computer. I did this to make sure she was navigating correctly.

I began to explain to her about the different search engines we were going to use and their general purpose. She was amazed at having the ability to read local news stories and news stories from around the world. To make sure she understood the site to its fullest capabilities, I let her choose a story to read first. She chose a story that looked interesting to her and off we went! She was not overwhelmed by the amount of information I was giving her on our first lesson. I tried not to use technical terms, but used terms that I knew she could relate to. She said using the internet was just like reading a newspaper. The only difference, she said was that, she had more choices of what topics she would read about. I was proud of her.

We spent about 45 minutes on that one particular site. I then wanted her to visit another site. She was excited to continue. I then told her about another popular, well known search engine that I use on a daily basis. I explained to her how amazing this search engine is. I told her that this particular search engine answers any and all questions regarding who, what, where, why or how. I gave her an example that she could relate to, recipes. I had her type in the search box, ” how do I make low fat brownies.” I had her then hit enter. She was ecstatic about the number of recipes that appeared on her screen in seconds. She laughed and stated that she regrets not using the internet years ago.

That lesson, I believe lasted for several hours. I wanted her to understand the vast amount of information she could obtain on the internet. Since then we have had at least 2 lessons a week for a month. Not before long she was using the internet like she had been using it for years. All it took was for me to have extreme patience, time to help her over the telephone and my desire to bring her into the new age of using modern technology. You rock mom!!!

Posted by Lorraine

The Itsy Bitsy Spider Is a Motivational Song

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I learned the song Itsy Bitsy Spider when I was in the 3rd grade. I loved singing it and sill remember all of the hand signals that go with it.

I can’t believe it took this long to realize I was singing one of my very first motivational songs. It’s a song for children about perseverance — it’s telling them to never give up.

The Itsy Bitsy Spider Went Up the Water Spout
You’re happily going about your business, making your way along your path, living your life.

Down Came the Rain and Washed the Spider Out
A trial, challenge, obstacle or tragedy happens in your life that brings you down. You’re devastated because it feels like all of your hard work has been erased or is meaningless.

Out Came the Sun and Dried Up All the Rain
Despite our challenges, there always seems to be a ray of light that eventually appears when we hold on and stay strong.

And the Itsy Bitsy Spider Went Up the Spout Again
We fall down, but we get up. Despite what the spider has been through in this little story, she still gets back up on that spout and starts climbing again.

It’s never hopeless — don’t let anything or anyone stop you from pursuing your goals in life.

Posted by: Jasmine

Dating As a Single Parent

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Mother and child
© 1_womans_dream | Dreamstime Stock Photos

Dating as a single parent can be a lot more challenging than it first seems. I had experienced several dating failures — dating experiences that I believed were going to turn into serious relationships. My problem was that I introduced my children to my mate and was concerned about there emotional well being. I wanted them to mature and have healthy dating experiences of their own.

Since most of their behavior is learned from what they see and experience, I had to make drastic changes, immediately. So for me, the best way to devise a plan, was to ask myself two very important questions, answer them and then follow those answers to utter perfection. The questions were:

1- When do I discuss with my children that I am dating?

2- When do I tell my date, that I have children?

After hours of contemplation, I realized the answer to both my questions. The first questions answer was to only have a discussion with my kids when I was secure that the “dating” had successfully transitioned into a relationship. Then and only then, introductions would occur.

As for the second question, I made the decision from my heart. I am proud of and have unconditional love and respect for my children and I would NEVER exclude their existence in this world. So at each first date I would speak of my children with great admiration. I would then discuss my boundaries with regards to my children, should the dating turn into a serious relationship.

I found that by making these changes, I became more comfortable and secure when dating. I also developed confidence, that I could maintain a life outside of being a mother.

Posted by Eve

 

Keeping Kids Busy During Summer Months

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Parents, as we all know, find it challenging when children are on summer break to keep them entertained. My main problem with my own children was the lack of physical and mental activity. I did not want their health to suffer due to boredom. I was forced to think of affordable ideas to keep them active.

First, I telephoned my local YMCA to learn of any age appropriate camps offered. Realizing that I have a tight budget, I inquired if they were any programs to assist me financially with paying for the camp. Thankfully, there was! Then, I talked to my children to find out which day camp they wanted to attend and signed them up.

My second idea, was to research any local public swimming pools, that had weekend hours in my area. I felt that giving them a dose of vitamin D from the sun and providing proper sun screen protection would be healthy for them. With their youthful energy, they enjoyed playing and swimming for hours. To keep them energized, I brought a cooler that contained ice, bottled water, fruit, and homemade sandwiches to nourish them on my tight budget.

My third idea was to not only exercise their body but their mind as well. So, I decided to take them to the public library to choose a book of their choice. I gave them a task of reading at least two chapters a day. We would later discuss in detail the chapters that they read at dinner. By doing this, it insured me that they comprehended and could verbalize what they had read.

Summer months can be extremely difficult. With a little thought and research, I found fun and affordable activities to keep them entertained. I was happy that, they were not sitting around the house for months, miserable. A nice plus at the end of the day, was that they were so exhausted, they went to sleep by 8:30. Yeah!! More time for mommy!!