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Parenting Advice: Encouraging Your Kids to Be Productive Citizens

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Children need a strong positive influence and guidance from their parents in order to become productive members of society. Parents must teach their children right from wrong, monitor the media influence that they consume, understand the importance of keeping your word and demonstrate to their children that there are consequences to your actions.

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Right vs. Wrong

Teaching kids right from wrong starts at a young age — for example, if a child takes a candy bar out of the grocery store without paying for it, the parent’s response shouldn’t be laughter or telling the child that it’s okay if you didn’t get caught. That sends the wrong message to a maturing brain. As the child gets older, bad behavior becomes the norm (as long as he doesn’t get caught) until one day he’s a major burden on his parents. Immediately voice your disappointment in negative behavior and make your child make things right. Holding a child responsible for his or her actions at a young age will have a significant effect on his or her choices in the future.

Social Media

Parents have to be more active in their child’s life more than ever before thanks to social media and the Internet. In today’s society, children are being negatively and heavily influenced by the music that they listen to, the movies that they watch and the video games that they play. Despite that reality, the parent is still the first and strongest influence in a child’s life from birth. From a very young age a parent will say the word “no” thousands of times because she cares for her child’s safety. Why should that concern for their safety end when they start listening to music, watching movies, using social media and playing mature video games as teens? Older kids also need to be taught right from wrong. Have meaningful conversations with them about the media that they consume on a daily basis so that they can put it in the proper perspective.

Learn To Keep Your Word

Children of today should learn that the words they say, even when first learning how to communicate, are vital to becoming a productive member in society. There’s an old adage that will forever ring true: “Your word is your bond.” This simply means that your word is everything. Parents teach their children this lesson by example — if you make a promise to your child, keep it.

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The importance of keeping your word can also be taught in many common scenarios. For instance, say a child joins the soccer team one day and then quits the next day. If the child is permitted to start and stop every activity on a whim, he will come to show the world that he can’t be counted on. He also won’t experience the satisfaction of following through on his word. Use these small instances as teaching moments to show the child the importance of keeping your commitments.

Teach Them That There Are Consequences to Your Actions

One of the most important lessons a parent can teach a child is that for every action there is a reaction. Every person in the world faces consequences for their actions whether big or small, good or bad. Sometimes those consequences come quickly, and other times they take longer to manifest.

As an example, if a child is caught fighting in school, they have to know that there are consequences for their actions that are largely out of your control as a parent. The principal will suspend the child, the police may be summoned to the school and charges could be pursued in juvenile court. Your child will expect you to save him from this situation, but a parent’s response should not be to fix, coddle or lie for a child. The child must learn from this experience because if he doesn’t, it will reoccur time and time again. The child should learn how society works as early as possible so that he’ll have time to correct his mentality and behavior.

All children need guidance from their parents or guardians on how to be a productive citizen from the beginning of their lives right up until they become self-sufficient adults. As the parent you are the first role model — you show children with your actions and words what’s acceptable. Lead boldly and admirably by example.

Posted by Louise

 

Photo Credits: Flickr/Torrey Wiley, Flickr/Stuart Richards

 

Teaching Kids to Love Themselves

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In today’s age of new technology, sadly kids are much more prone to be negatively influenced by what their family members, friends and even strangers have to say about them. Bullying has evolved due to social media.

Unfortunately, many children are not given the proper tools to deal with and cope with the negative influences that invade their daily lives.

Another sad fact is that most American youth now transform their personalities to emulate who they idolize. That may be a professional athlete, pop star or rapper with a questionable message.

First Love Yourself

Parents have to “STOP THE MADNESS” and instill a sense of self-esteem in their children. Here are some helpful tips for how to teach your kids to love themselves that will be useful to all parents; no matter their socioeconomic status.

Start As Early As Possible

The process of instilling self-love should begin when the child is an infant — babies are born with blank slates. Every bit of outside stimuli can affect their development.

Installing confidence within your child begins at an early age as well. For example, when they have accomplished a task and you feel that they have done their best, give them praise. Money and material things are not as valuable as your words of encouragement.

Be the Person You Want Your Children to Be

The saying “do as I say, not as I do” just doesn’t register with children. You are their first role model, so they are going to mimic what you do. Your child sees what you do and who you are every day you are together, so everything from how you cope with stress to how you let others speak to you means a lot. So if you want your child to love him or herself, you have to show love to yourself first and foremost.

Put Pop Stars In Their Place

Let your children have their favorite pop group, actors or rappers etc. But make them aware that these are privileged people — when they do certain things it may be accepted by society and thought of as “cool,” but if your child does it probably will not be. For instance, the famous women who choose to show their bodies to the world have highly paid security guards to protect their bodies — the average young woman does not have that level of protection and freedom. The famous rapper who posts images of himself using drugs has the money to hire a great lawyer if he gets into trouble — the average young man will have to rely on a poorly paid public defender.

Teach your child that those people are paid to act a certain way while on a stage performing, but it’s all for show.

Explain to them that idolizing others will only make them less like themselves and more like something or someone they are not. Tell them to be proud of who they are — teach them not to live vicariously through others by helping them bring out their own individuality.

Show Them Love

Your child’s sense of self-love really does begin at home. Show and tell your children that you love them everyday, and add an occasional hug to the mix. Children learn to express themselves with their parents first, and that is how they learn to love themselves. You have to demonstrate this to them in the most meaningful ways possible.

When they are little kids love to hug and express their love to you — encourage that throughout their lives.

Remember that the children of today are living in a different world from when you were young. Yet at the same time, certain facts of life are still the same. Show genuine love to your children and they will love you — most importantly they will learn to love themselves.

Posted by Eve

Teaching Your Child About Bullies in School

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Here are some tips for teaching your child about bullies in school.

Sadly, these are the days of extreme bullying in and out of school. Now there’s even “cyber bullying ” on the internet.

Teaching our youth how to recognize a bully is challenging. Yet, it can be done! It is a great concern to all parents who send their kids to school and hope that they are not a victim of a bully. However, you can instill in your child not to be a victim.

Educate Them

First, this can be accomplished by giving them a true definition of a bully. What I told my children is that a bully is a weak and troubled individual. Meaning, he/she can be experiencing some form of mental and/or physical abuse at home and that bullying is there way of “venting” those frustrations. It is totally inappropriate and inexcusable to be bullied by anyone.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open

Making sure that you keep the daily lines of communication with your child is the most important step. Just don’t ask how was your day and accept a generic answer. Ask questions about classroom friends, lunch room habits and their trips home. All of this is asked while looking the child directly in the eye. No one but a parent is going to know if the child is being truthful or not. Talk to your child about the signs of a bully so that they have a better comprehension and can recognize the characteristics. In my opinion, some of the signs of a bully are:

– lack of empathy for others

– opportunist behavior (strikes when an adult is not looking)

– refuses to accept responsibility for wrong behaviors (the other person always deserves it)

– will not see another persons point of view

– enjoys inflicting pain and embarrassment to others

– is overly concerned with others showing them “respect”

– wants to be feared

– a very sore loser

– gets pleasure from always being in control

Teach Them to Lead, Not Follow

When you think about, it all bullies need professional help. Unfortunately, you are not the one who can help them. Yet, what you can do is make sure that your child is a leader and not a follower. Also, ensure that your child knows his or her own self worth. Make sure that they know that no one has the right to disrupt their  day to day confidence while in or out of school.

Your child must always be comfortable when speaking with you about any topic. Communication, whether it be at dinner, before bed, at breakfast or while watching television is paramount to any parents day to day knowledge of their child’s well being in and out of school. My only wish is that I hope this advice about teaching your child about bullies in school can inspire and enlighten parents to be more involved with their children.

 

Posted by Eve

How to Give Your Child the Best Chance at Succeeding in School

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Here are some thoughts on how you can give your child the best chance at succeeding in school.

Your child’s performance in school now can have long-term effects on his or her adult life. There are a few ways to ensure that you and your child navigate the current school term with great success. Some of these tips may seem challenging at first, but with perseverance each day will become easier.

Make Sure Your Child is Well Rested

When you send your young one to school with an inadequate amount of sleep it can interfere with their learning process. The child will become frustrated, cranky and/or sleepy by days end. All of this will block and hamper what the teacher is attempting to teach your child. By making sure that your child has a minimum of 8-10 hours of sleep on school nights is the first vital key to their daily success. It is best to maintain a routine of bedtime hours for your child. You may get some resistance in the beginning. Although, children do thrive with consistent behaviors and habits. Once their nightly routine is set in stone you will soon see a difference in their attentiveness and attitude while at school. As a result your child’s teacher will notice the difference and appreciate your efforts.

Limit Sugar and Caffeine Intake

Credit: Flickr; chefranden
Credit: Flickr; chefranden

There has been plenty of research on the effects of sugar and caffeine when introduced into a child’s daily diet. So, if your child is ingesting high amounts of caffeine and sugar on a regular basis, you may want to switch to healthier alternatives. If you give it a thought, it seems to be normal to start your child’s day with milk, cereal and a bit of orange juice. Yet, when you break it down all of those products contain high amounts of sugar. This will make your child begin the day with a sugar “rush”. The child’s mood and attention span will soon change as the sugar “rush” wears off.

Instead, try making your child a breakfast consisting of eggs, a side of fresh fruit and a bottled water or a freshly-made smoothie. The eggs are loaded with protein, the fresh fruit contains natural sugars and the bottled water provides them with hydration.

As for their school lunch, many parents opt for the kids to purchase lunch at school. It is important to know the school menu to ensure that they are eating the healthiest lunch possible. If your child has food allergies or issues contact your school to discuss what can be done. For those parents who prepare lunch on a daily basis, try switching to a more filling and healthier food. For example, avoid giving your child a juice box or caffeine-filled soda — instead give them a bottled water or freshly pressed juice with no added sugar. This will again keep them hydrated through the day. Instead of white bread use a whole grain bread to prepare sandwiches. As for a snack, try giving them celery sticks and peanut butter. With just a few changes to your child’s daily eating habits you can give them the brain power and energy to make their learning easier.

Stay Involved with Class Work, Homework and Projects

Make it a daily habit to give assistance and review your child’s homework every day. Be sure that they are comprehending their home work and school work. Remember, to have patience with them. Show them understanding. They have extremely long school hours and tire easily. Besides, stressful situations affects them as they do us as parents. Encourage them to do their best and complete their homework with care, but don’t push them to the point where they’ll be overwhelmed and stressed out every day.

Start with these basic tips for how to give your child the best chance at succeeding in school. In my opinion, a child’s path to success begins at home. The parent who is actively involved with their child’s nutrition and efforts at school is the parent whose child will have a greater chance at success — not just in school but in life as well.

Posted by Eve

Returning to Your Childhood Home As An Adult

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I sincerely enjoy returning to the childhood home where I was raised to visit my parents. There are so many memories packed into every inch of that house. For example, when I look at the stair case, I can vividly remember sliding down those same stairs on a cardboard box, having fun for hours.

However, there are certain realizations, as adults, that we need to keep in mind when returning to our parents home. In this economic climate some of us need to return to our parents home due loss of employment, home or spouse. First of all, I feel so fortunate to have the opportunity to visit the home where I had so many minor and major life experiences. Yet, on my previous visit to my parents, I realized that I needed to change my mind set when visiting my parents. I noticed that although their energy and thrust for life was still present, there was something different about them. My mom, for instance, did not cook the same and my dad no longer enjoyed his outside chores. My mom instead, chose to either order out or cook a meal in the microwave. While my dad had hired landscapers to do all of the outside chores. Seeing that took me for a loop. Growing up my mom cooked three homemade meals a day including desserts and my dad lavished on his lawn, garden and flowers. I then opened my eyes a little wider and realized that after all of the years that they both had taken care of their children and instilled in all of us a sense of duty and pride in our accomplishments, they were tired. Tired of having to teach, listen, cook, work hard to show us how to properly run a happy and prideful family.

Now, when I visit my parents with my mate and children, I make sure that everyone is actively involved with the daily chores. Such as, cooking, cleaning and removal of garbage. I basically attempt to give them a break from doing these chores while my family visits. After all, we are the ones adding to the untidiness to the house. It pains me now to think of how many meals were cooked for me, as an adult, while I sat down in the living room waiting to be told, by mom, that dinner was ready. Me and my family now instruct her to sit and wait to be called for dinner. Of course, she is never to far from the kitchen to ensure that I am precisely following her recipes!! As for dad, if there were any chores he wanted done outside on the property, we all pitched in, while again he sat and watched making sure it was done the way he wanted.

I guess my best advice, is to make yourself a commodity. In other words, PITCH in! No adult lives for free, so if you are moving back home, any income you bring into the home, your parents should most definitely receive a percentage. If you are visiting, make a trip to the grocers to buy all of the necessary foods that you or your family enjoy. Don’t just sit on the couch, ask your parents if they need anything done in or outside of the home. I can say that my parents enjoyed my family more because we truly acted like a family. We also bonded in more ways because we were all actively enjoying one another’s company. As our parents age, they appreciate any and all help given.

I hope that this advice about returning to your childhood home has made someone re-evaluate their parents and show more appreciation to them.

 

Posted by Lorraine