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Humorous (Yet Very Practical) Reasons to Wear a Face Mask

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Besides the obvious reason to wear a mask (to protect yourself and others from covid, colds, and other respiratory infections), here are a few fun, practical reasons why you would want to wear a face mask when you’re out on the town.

You Get to Talk to Yourself and Not Look Crazy

“Damn it, I forgot to pick up the cheese.” With a mask you can talk to yourself in peace without worrying about what other people may think about you. So, when you forget the cheese, you can mumble it to yourself, head back to the store, and then talk to yourself some more. As much as you want.

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Best Workout: Chasing a Fly Around the House

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Fly Swatter

I have tried countless workout routines in the past, from Beach Body to Shaun T’s T25 to Pilates and 5 minute Yoga. Sometimes I get a good workout by simply walking up and down the stairs.

But out of all the workout programs I’ve tried, none of them are as good as the exercise I get from chasing an annoying fly or moth around the house.

The level of disrespect the fly shows me is definitely a motivating factor. For instance, if it buzzes close to my face more than once or goes near my food, now it’s game on!

You grab your fly swatter and and hold it like some kind of sword. Yea, now I’m coming for you Mr. Fly.

But then you learn that the fly is much faster and smarter than you thought. You’re jumping in the air and swinging the swatter around like a tennis star. You’re doing back-handed moves and swirling around in all directions.

You’re ducking the fly as it buzzes overhead. You’re leaping forward on your toes and doing pirouettes like a ballerina. While chasing a fly around the house, you probably work some muscles that you haven’t used in years. And the fly keeps buzzing away.

And all the while, it almost seems as if the fly is challenging you instead of evading you!

After the swatter proves fruitless and you’re out of breath, you finally just grab a can of fly spray and finish the job. You only spent a few moments chasing that naughty little fly, but you’re panting like you just ran full speed on a treadmill for an hour. If you could have been a “fly on the wall” and seen yourself in motion, you would probably laugh and grab your cellphone camera.

So if you ever need a good, quick workout and there happens to be an annoying flying insect in your space, grab a fly swatter and get to work instead of taking the easy way out.

Posted by Jayelle
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People Who Linger in Public Bathrooms

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Public Bathroom Funnies

Do you know what really gets on my nerves? People who linger behind in public bathrooms when they KNOW that someone is still in the stall STRUGGLING to remain “discreet.”

Surely you’ve experienced this at least once? If you haven’t, you’re a lucky individual!

Everyone prefers to have their most “private” moments in the comfort of their own homes, but on occasion, urgency demands that you stop in a public bathroom or the bathroom at your job and do what needs to be done. I’m talking about those “long visits” to the restroom that don’t end in a simple, delightful little tinkle.

So you’re in the bathroom stall alone, hoping that no one comes in. You grab a piece of toilet seat paper, crinkling it up in your hands to mask the sound of what’s about to transpire. Then, someone walks into the restroom and takes the stall right next to you. *SIGHHHH*

I think there are two types of people in this world:

  1. The type of person who recognizes that someone is in the next stall “struggling” and needs to be left alone.
  2. The type of person who decides to linger around in the public bathroom when they know someone is still in a stall “struggling.”

 

The first type of person gets his or her business done, flushes promptly, washes their hands and leaves quickly. Thank you!

The second type of person takes forever to leave the bathroom! They linger behind in the stall. They might be checking their cellphone, oblivious of what’s going on next door. Who knows?

How could they be oblivious after you’ve flushed the toilet four times and over 10 minutes have passed?

When the second type of person finally flushes and leaves the stall, they wash their hands and then hang out in the bathroom doing WHO KNOWS WHAT. Checking their makeup? Picking something out of their teeth? Staring at your door in anticipation?

Whatever they’re doing, they’re causing you (still in the stall) to clench up in desperation. LEAVE! LEAVE! PLEASE! You urge them silently.

I don’t know why some people do this. Are they trying to purposely make you uncomfortable in there? Are they really just oblivious to your struggle? Or do they want to see who’s still sitting in that stall stinking up the bathroom?

If so, why?

Another of life’s mysteries I guess. Good luck to you as you wait things out! Maybe this will help next time?

 

Posted by  Jayelle
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